


Fumbling Ever Forward

by inksheddings



Category: Loveless
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-12
Updated: 2009-04-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 09:59:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inksheddings/pseuds/inksheddings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kio's birthday celebration leads Ritsuka to examine more than just his ever-confusing feelings regarding Soubi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fumbling Ever Forward

Ritsuka woke up on the couch, his mouth dry and pasty and his head aching. The lights were still on in the living room and kitchen, but he knew it had to be awfully late. He remembered checking the time at around eleven p.m. and deciding he might as well not bother with going home. Last thing he needed was to wake up his mother- or worse yet, find her still awake -after he'd had a bit too much to drink, celebrating Kio's birthday with him and Soubi. He was only fifteen, underage, and hadn't planned on having _anything_ to drink, but Soubi had insisted he should drink one toast to Kio, who was already drunk enough not to object on his behalf. One toast had led to another and then to another after that.

Ritsuka sat up and looked around Soubi's apartment. It took a minute for his head to stop spinning. He was thirsty and nauseous, which was not a great combination. Glancing at the clock on his way to the kitchen, he saw it was three-thirty in the morning. Definitely too late to go home.

He nearly fell on his ass as he walked around the kitchen counter. Kio was passed out on the floor, knees pulled tightly against his chest in fetal position. He was still wearing his glasses and his shirt, but was pants-less. Ritsuka had never wondered whether Kio was a boxers or briefs sort of guy, but now he knew. Maybe it was the alcohol still in his system, but Ritsuka couldn't help but smile at the ridiculous picture Kio made on Soubi's kitchen floor. He went back to the living room and retrieved a throw from the couch. He covered Kio up and gently removed his glasses before pouring himself a tall glass of water, filling the cup with as many ice cubes as it could hold.

"Happy birthday," Ritsuka said, toasting Kio one more time before slowly drinking the entire glass of water.

Kio had become a good friend since their rocky first meeting over two years ago. He was easy to get along with, and the only person Ritsuka could really talk to about Soubi. They could have what Kio called "bitch sessions about the idiot masochist," and then watch anime and eat French fries together. It was kind of like hanging out with a more mature version of Yayoi.

Ritsuka placed his empty glass on the kitchen counter and headed toward the bathroom. Between the alcohol and the water he had to go fairly badly. The bathroom was just off of the only bedroom, and Ritsuka figured he'd check on Soubi after taking care of his rather urgent need. He stopped short, however, as he caught a glimpse of his fighter lying on the bed. Completely naked.

Ritsuka had seen Soubi naked before. He'd come down with a bad flu, and Ritsuka had half carried him to the shower to clean off the vomit he'd thrown up all over himself- and Ritsuka. There hadn't, however, been anything... seductive about that experience.

This- _this_ -was different.

Soubi was not only lying naked on top of the covers, but he was hard. His erection was obvious, what with Soubi's legs splayed across the bed, and it curved slightly to one side. One arm lay across his stomach and the other above his head. He looked peaceful, at ease, but Ritsuka was feeling anything but.

He knew he should just go to the bathroom, go back out to the couch, go back to sleep. He would have too, he was certain of it, if Soubi's voice hadn't chosen that very moment to groan quietly in sleep as he spread his legs even wider.

Ritsuka's heart started pounding along with his head. His ears twitched and flattened, practically hiding themselves in his hair. He veered away from the bathroom and walked slowly into the bedroom. His steps felt lighter than he thought they should. He was almost on auto-pilot, his eyes transfixed on Soubi's erect penis, his balls, the light crinkly hair surrounding the entire area.

His legs bumped against the edge of the bed. He knelt down on the floor, making himself eye level with the object of his fascination.

Ritsuka had felt Soubi's erections before. They'd shared a bed often, fairly chastely- except for good-night kisses that got longer and hotter each time -and Ritsuka couldn't count how many times he'd woken up with Soubi's body wrapped around his, his hardness pressed against the small of his back or the base of his tail. It had frightened Ritsuka at first, then he'd grown used to it once he realized that Soubi wasn't going to actually try anything, that he couldn't help his body's reactions during sleep. Sort of like how Ritsuka couldn't seem to help _his_ body's reactions here and now.

Soubi had pretty hairy legs, especially his thighs. It was soft hair, though, and just a shade lighter than his pubic hair. Ritsuka wondered if the haphazard curls were much coarser, like his own, or if they were also soft. He didn't even realize he was reaching out for them until, right before his eyes, Soubi's hardness twitched ever so slightly. Ritsuka pulled his hand back quickly, his head snapping around towards Soubi's face. He was still fast asleep, breathing slowly and evenly.

Ritsuka released a shaky breath and decided enough was enough, it was time to get the hell out of here. He stood up and couldn't hold in his moan as he felt his very own erection rub against his jeans, causing his tail to wrap itself tightly around his leg. Another thing Ritsuka was getting used to- getting hard because of _Soubi_. But, again, Ritsuka had always been able to write that off as early morning "wood," as Yayoi called it. This was different. This was Soubi lying naked across his bed, the tip of his hard penis leaking clear fluid that any second would drip down onto his flat belly. This was Ritsuka wondering for the first time what that drop of fluid would _taste_ like- he'd never even thought about trying his own, no matter how often he'd jacked off over the last year -and what Soubi's length would feel like wrapped in Ritsuka's hand. This was–

Soubi groaned again, thrusting his hips upwards, and that drop of precome couldn't hold. Instead of dripping straight down to his belly, however, its texture allowed it to stretch across the short distance, so that it also stayed connected to his erection. All Ritsuka would have to do was swipe a finger between penis and belly and–

Ritsuka hoped he was quiet enough as he practically ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans as fast as he could manage and shoved them and his underwear down around his ankles. He didn't even bother with sitting down, he just leaned against the door and started stroking himself, biting his lip in an effort not to make any noise. He thought about Soubi's body. He thought about how willing Soubi's body was, even in sleep. He thought about what it would feel like to hold it, but not just his erection, _all_ of it- head, hands, arms, chest, back, hips, knees, _feet_. He thought about what it would be like to connect with him physically as other than fighter and sacrifice, more than friends and companions; to seek out comfort and affection, but in the complicated way of lovers who'd already been through everything but _that_ together.

Ritsuka came in his hand and all over the bathroom rug. He slid down the door and sat on the floor, breathing heavily. He was thirsty again, but couldn't bring himself to stand up and do anything about it. He kicked off his jeans but, after wiping himself off with the already soiled rug, pulled his underpants back up. He closed his eyes, leaned his head against the door, and wondered if he could just manage to fall asleep right there, in the bathroom, door locked against any further strange developments to this evening. Ritsuka really wished he could blame it on the alcohol.

The bathroom was tiny, however, and Ritsuka's long legs were already cramping up. He sighed as he pulled himself to his feet. He finally made use of the toilet, washed his hands, then cupped them under the flowing water to get a drink. Steeling himself, he gathered up his jeans and the rug and unlocked the bathroom door. The laundry hamper was in one corner of the bedroom, so it was easy enough to dispose of the bundle before climbing under the covers, next to Soubi, who was still sleeping on top of the covers- still naked, still hard as a rock.

Ritsuka didn't know if he was ready to lose his ears. He didn't know if he was ready for his and Soubi's relationship to- to... to what, exactly? God, it was so confusing! Ritsuka didn't feel like they could possibly get much closer than had over the last several years. They'd shared heartache, joy, triumphs, and defeats. They'd kissed and hugged and _rubbed_ and yet none of that really got acknowledged for where it would eventually lead and–

Soubi rolled over and draped an arm and a leg over Ritsuka's body, pressing his erection against the base of his tail.

It figured.

Ritsuka took Soubi's hand within his own, lacing their fingers together. He scooted backwards, just a little bit, taking unexpected comfort from the hardness he used to try to ignore.

Before sleep claimed him, he remembered Kio- the birthday boy -passed out on the kitchen floor, but didn't worry too much about him or what he'd think if he woke up first and found Ritsuka and Soubi like this. Kio would certainly make fun of them both, but not until after they'd all gotten a decent amount of sleep. There was time. Actually....

Ritsuka smiled- Soubi's warm breath ruffling the hair at the nape of his neck -as he realized that with Kio as his friend and Soubi as simply _his_ , he had all the time in the world.

 **end**   



End file.
